i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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