i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
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