grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
