Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
