I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
