fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
