Who did Billy Mays play for?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
