Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
