Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
