Redeem this text for a blowjob
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
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