Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
