I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
