if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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