He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
