does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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