Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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