.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
