He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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