we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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