We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
