I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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