porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
