he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
