My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
