Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
