dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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