he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
