my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I cannot find my penis.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize