She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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