Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
