I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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