dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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