When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
