you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
