glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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