I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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