Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
