Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
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$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
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Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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