My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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