Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
