Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic