It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed