I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
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While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
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This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.