So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
