Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell

  (310): View more from California

  my version of bright and sunny.

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  (323): forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell (310): my version of bright and sunny. http://tfl.nu/6mbu
  Replies (4) Good night (1719) Bad night (510)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.

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  (206): I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light. (1-206): Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had. http://tfl.nu/n63r
  Replies (8) Good night (1155) Bad night (1803)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:

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  (305): Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D: http://tfl.nu/t26u
  Replies (12) Good night (2391) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!

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  (205): i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL! http://tfl.nu/gtw6
  Replies (92) Good night (1986) Bad night (4443)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing

  (1-301): View more from Maryland

  that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome

  (301): View more from Maryland

  we agree. completely

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  (301): we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing (1-301): that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome (301): we agree. completely http://tfl.nu/eynh
  Replies (31) Good night (8375) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?

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  (412): Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween? http://tfl.nu/zwxr
  Replies (27) Good night (1102) Bad night (5055)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.

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  (224): States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby. http://tfl.nu/to2g
  Replies (49) Good night (4178) Bad night (1269)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club

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  (815): so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club http://tfl.nu/2gpd
  Replies (9) Good night (2390) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility

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  (518): in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility http://tfl.nu/vdpc
  Replies (8) Good night (3492) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.

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  (917): Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree. http://tfl.nu/ljt4
  Replies (16) Good night (2844) Bad night (1505)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult

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  (780): Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult http://tfl.nu/fk5u
  Replies (14) Good night (947) Bad night (2285)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know

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  (530): Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know http://tfl.nu/b7cw
  Replies (4) Good night (475) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.

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  (614): I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time. http://tfl.nu/ekmz
  Replies (8) Good night (1147) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.

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  (720): You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist. http://tfl.nu/dze0
  Replies (10) Good night (1634) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?

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  (714): But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax? http://tfl.nu/2c3b
  Replies (12) Good night (781) Bad night (333)

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