I am puke
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.