I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So apparently I’m into choking now
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize