D3 body, D1 cock
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.