I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
even my farts smell like vagina
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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