My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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