I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
