i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
