forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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