Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
