its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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