she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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