Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize
