ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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