I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
