So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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