Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You can't just leave with hair like that
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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