Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
