Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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