You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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