Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
