Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize