try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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