I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
