New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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