Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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