I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
