just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
