Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
my being single is dangerous.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
